


In Plain Sight

by Rae325



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae325/pseuds/Rae325
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of The Angels Take Manhattan, the Doctor vows that he will prove to his wife that she never needs to hide the damage from him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Plain Sight

The TARDIS is far too empty once River leaves. The Doctor doesn't offer to accompany her to get  _Melody Malone_  published, because it is so obvious that she wants to get away from him. He knows why of course. She told him as much when they were in New York:  _One does ones best to hide the damage_.

When the Doctor lets himself think of it, he knows that River has always hidden the damage from him. She's always been calm and collected as he fell apart. She had maintained eye contact with the angel in the graveyard, had guided the Doctor back to the TARDIS, and soothed him while ignoring her own pain over losing her parents.

The Doctor knows he should go after River, should beg for forgiveness for being rubbish as a husband, but he doesn't. He needs her though, and in a moment of complete selfishness, he takes the TARDIS to Stormcage to find a River who isn't silently drowning in sorrow. He needs a night with his wife, a wife who will distract him with dancing and teasing and with her touch.

He parks the TARDIS in River's cell, checks his hair, and throws the door open with a flourish. "Honey, I'm home." The Doctor expects a flirtatious reply, but instead his wife is staring at him open mouthed. "Is that any way to greet your husband?"

He knows her, River realizes. The version of the Doctor who had left her mere minutes ago had kissed her for the first time, what she thought had been her last time. But this Doctor knows her. "And what sort of time do you call this?" River asks. "Now come give your wife a kiss."

She thought she would never feel this again. Her husband's lips on hers, his hands wandering her body. Her husband who knows her.

"Come on," the Doctor says, grabbing River's hand (the same one he forced her to break today, he recalls painfully) and pulls her into the TARDIS. "There's a solar eclipse occurring on Kandor in 2582 that I've been dying to see."

He should know that something isn't quite right because River lets him fly the TARDIS. "Where are we?" she asks, pulling her diary from her pocket.

"I'm from your future this time," the Doctor says bopping River on the nose.

"How?" River asks still shocked.

"Didn't you once tell me that you were a complicated time space event? And you're asking how it's possible that I'm from the future."

"I thought that we were back-to-front."

"You don't always know more than I do dear."

River can ponder what all this means once she's back in her cell. For now she has her husband by her side. "Is that so?" River asks, pushing the Doctor out of the way and taking over control of the TARDIS.

The Doctor feigns annoyance for a moment before standing back and smiling as his wife steers them to a perfect landing.

* * *

The sun returns to the sky, and the Doctor looks over at his wife. Her eyes are glassy and she looks so very far away. For a moment the Doctor forgets that River hasn't just lose her parents and he nearly mentions Amy and Rory. But then he remembers the expanses of time and space between him and his wife.

"River, are you alright?"

"Of course sweetie. It was a lovely eclipse."

But River's voice from New York still echoes in the Doctor's head. How long has she been hiding from him?

"I never asked. Where are you in your time stream?"

"I've just returned from Florida, 1969."

The Doctor had barely known River then. He certainly hadn't known that he had seen more than one incarnation of his wife in Florida. He hadn't given much thought to that little girl once they had planted the recording of the Silence into the moon landing. The little girl would find them the Doctor can remember telling River, and she had never let on the truth of those words.

"How much of it do you remember?" the Doctor asks.

"I was just there. The Silence are fuzzy, but I still remember killing them. Funny."

"No, I mean Melody. How much do you remember about the first time you were in 1969?"

River's breath catches in her throat. He's never asked. No one has ever asked. They've all apologized – the Doctor, Amy, Rory – for not finding her. But River had assured them that she wouldn't change a moment, not if it meant losing all the moments that she had to come. And that was it. No one had asked what it had been like to be a little girl all alone in an orphanage being trained as a weapon. They hadn't known when they were at Graystark Hall to ask what it was like to be inside that space suit with no control at all.

"I can remember pieces of it. I don't remember the Silence. They did far too thorough a job with my mind. I just remember… "

"What?" the Doctor asks gently, and River feels for the first time in her relationship with her husband like he genuinely wants to know her pain. It's different and terrifying. And yet his face is so gentle, such a comfort, that she confides in him.

"Being afraid."

River whispers those words like they're shameful, like sharing with her husband that fact that she had been afraid as a small child kidnapped by the Silence will change how he looks at her.

"You were impossibly brave Melody Pond."

"Sweetie?" River asks seeing the tears fill her husband's eyes. She has so rarely seen him cry.

"I'm your husband River. You never have to hide anything from me." River looks at him with such surprise, like these are words she never expected from him and it breaks the Doctor's hearts.

"You sentimental idiot," River says, but she's smiling at the Doctor, looking so touched. He feels for the first time today as though he's done something right.

* * *

River makes no attempt to go back to Stormcage after they make love. The Doctor wonders if she sensed his desperate need for her or whether she's chosen to stay because she too is feeling lost and alone. Regardless of the reason, the Doctor is so very grateful for his wife's presence.

He watches her sleep, and hopes that he can offer her comfort from whatever demons haunt her tonight. But the demons chase River in her dreams even with the Doctor's arms wrapped around her. She whimpers in her sleep. "River," the Doctor whispers, hoping to shake her from dreams without waking her.

"No, please," River begs, grasping at the Doctor's arm.

"River, it's me. You need to wake up. Come on River."

She wakes with a start, sitting up and looking around frantically.

"You were only dreaming."

"I'm sorry my love," River whispers, still breathing heavily.

The Doctor shakes his head at the apology. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

"Oh River," the Doctor says with a sigh. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I've been remembering more and more of the time I spent in Graystark Hall."

"Do you wish to tell me?"

River shakes her head. "It was a long time ago."

"But you're dreaming about it now."

"It's just a dream. Really, there's no need for you to worry."

The Doctor looks into his wife's eyes; she's embarrassed by this vulnerability. "I will always worry about you River, and I will always want to know everything about you."

River presses her lips to her husband's. In her nightmare she was wandering the streets in New York, and she knew that something was coming for her, something that she could never name or see, but something that had been there as long as she could remember. She pushes the Doctor back onto the pillow, leaning her own head on his chest.

Melody Pond had never felt safe, she had been so frightened for so long. And usually River Song is afraid of nothing. But tonight she doesn't feel fearless; tonight she can't shake the feeling of being that little girl.

The Doctor tightens his hold on River. "You'll tell me what I can do to make it better?"

"Just this, my love," River replies. This wonderful feeling of her husband's arms wrapped around her is enough to chase away the shadows of the past, enough to push the reminders of the fear and the loneliness away.

The Doctor gazes at his wife; she seems so content to be in his arms. It makes him forget about his own pain to ease River's in this way. The Doctor promises himself that in the morning he will ask once more for her to be honest with him. He promises himself that he will never again make River feel that she needs to hide from him.

River had once insisted that the Doctor should never rewrite a single line of their time together. He hopes that she can forgive him one rewrite though, because the Doctor promises himself that when River goes to New York, she won't give a single thought to hiding the damage.


End file.
